Friday, May 3, 2013

Post #8: Flash Fiction Revised

Few people have seen dragons in the forests, but fewer people have seen hybrids. So when the dragon Riva encounters a hybrid girl, who is probably one of the only dragon hybrids in existance, it leads to an unexpected relationship.

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Encounter With Riva

Whenever Riva looks at me, I almost expect her fire cloak to ignite. After all, she is a fire dragon, though I would have never guessed that based on her appearance. Normally, fire dragons have red or orange scales, but Riva’s scales are gray and blue. But her odd scale colors don’t make her any less fierce when she is angry or provoked.

I see her resting in the forest. She is lying down, but her eyes are open, indicating that she is still alert to potential danger. Most likely, she was just hunting but decided to relax for a few minutes before returning to her cave. I step on a twig, which alerts her to my presence. She picks up her head and looks in my direction. Almost surprisingly, her fire cloak does not ignite. She just stares in my direction. Another person would flee, but this is not my first encounter with Riva. I have seen her before and even managed to earn her trust, which is not an easy thing to do. Riva is slow to trust others, especially humans. In fact, the only reason she would even speak to me initially is because I am only half human. My other half is one of Riva’s kin. Yes, I am half dragon.

I approach her. The first time I saw Riva, my approach was slow and cautious. At the time, I did not know that Riva could set herself on fire, but I did know that Riva would still be quite dangerous if she decided that I was a threat. Of course, now I approach Riva as a friend or an ally (Riva insists that we’re allies, not friends). She watches me, somewhat suspicious, but this is Riva. She is weary around everyone, including me, despite claiming that I earned her trust. Once I asked her why and she said that when you trust someone too much, you lower your guard and they can easily betray you. I guess she was talking from experience.

When I’m close enough, Riva gives me a silent greeting and I give her a small wave. I sit next to her, but the dragon tail that I have makes sitting somewhat awkward at first and I have to shift to get in a more comfortable position.

“What are you doing in the forest?” I ask Riva.

“Hunting, she says, confirming my earlier thoughts, “And you?”

“Just going for a walk,” I reply.

Riva scoffs, “Why walk when you can fly?”

Of course, she is referring to the wings on my back. Since I am half dragon, I have some draconic abilities. One of them is flight. My wings are large enough to carry me though the sky and Riva has seen me take flight before. We have even flown together a number of times.

“Because I enjoy walking,” I say.

Riva only rolls her eyes, but she is a dragon, not a hybrid. She does not always understand why certain things bring me pleasure when a dragon might not enjoy them. She does not see the point of walking long distances when flying is significantly faster. Especially since most humans would gladly give up the ability to walk if they could fly instead. But I just find walking relaxing. Of course, I also love flying and would never sacrifice my wings or the feeling of complete freedom that comes from being airborne that Riva and all other winged dragons are addicted to. Despite being a hybrid, I have become addicted to this feeling as well.

Riva suddenly turns, as if she is detecting the scent of some wild animal. I do not register any scent, but I’m just a hybrid. My senses are sharper than those of an ordinary human, but they will never be as strong as the senses of a dragon.

Sure enough, a deer walks into my line of sight. Riva looks like she is considering chasing it, but decides not to. I guess she has already satisfied her hunting needs for now. The deer leaves and Riva’s gaze shifts to me. She’s probably wondering why I don’t hunt when my dragon instincts should be prompting me to. But she only sees this forest as a hunting ground and does not see the point of coming here for anything other than a hunting expedition (unless she is promised treasure of course). Naturally, she does not understand why I walk around in the forest for no reason, but she’s used to seeing me here.

That is how we met actually. I had been walking in the forest like I was today when I saw a dragon moving swiftly; most likely she was hunting. Her scales were gray and blue and she wore two golden necklaces. I guess I had gotten too close because she detected my scent and soon her attention was on me.

I should have run (or flown away), but I didn’t. I stayed because I was surprised to see a dragon. They rarely appeared these days and most people thought they were extinct. Besides, I had never met one of my kin and a dragon was closer to me than a human, despite my appearance (I look more human than dragon).

The dragon was also surprised to see me, but for different reasons. Hybrids were extremely rare and the majority of hybrids took on the feature of wild animals like tigers or wolves. Hybrids based on creatures like dragons were even less common. The dragon obviously did not expect to see me, a humanoid girl with dragon wings (in addition to a tail, horns, and claws) walking through the forest.

I convinced her to talk to me and learned that her name was Riva and that she was a fire dragon, despite her unusual scale colors. We met a few times after that, usually in the forest, but occasionally in the sky. During one of those encounters, Riva showed me her fire cloak. During another, she gave me lessons in hunting (she was quite surprised to learn that I didn’t know how to hunt). And during a more recent encounter, I brought a sketchbook and drew Riva lying in the grass.

I sit in the forest with Riva for a while. Despite the fact that she insists that we are still allies and not friends, I think she really does consider me a friend. She is just too proud to admit it. But I could be wrong. It’s often hard to tell with Riva.

3 comments:

  1. I like how you set up a duality trust/mistrust sort of deal with Riva.It's cool how you are friends (sort of), but at the same time your friendship was built on an unsteady alliance. I think that it could be better if you described moods of the encounter. Show how Riva's about to don herself in a cloak of fire rather then just saying how you are afraid of it. (For example: Riva's scales shone as if they were always about to ignite). Another thing is that I think it would have been nice to know what you looked like at the begining of the story, rather then the end. Thirdly, It would also be nice if you told some of the stories about Riva and your characters hanging out more in detail (I was left wanting more about you drawing Riva in the grass). To end on a positive note, I definitely like the concept of a Dragon-Hybrid meeting a dragon. It's interesting to see what the interaction between the two would be, considering dragons are known to believing themselves superior to humans. A friendship between a dragon and a half dragon seems to be not only a hilarious one, but it's a relationship that has a lot of potential. I hope to read more soon!

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  2. This was a very impressive read, that could blossom into a very good story. I did note several time-oriented problems and dialogue issues, ex. (“Hunting, she says, confirming my earlier thoughts, “And you?”) & (I sit in the forest with Riva for a while)
    It was also nice that you took the time to describe the character, though it would have been better to have established at the begginning of the story.
    An all around good story that simply needs some fine tunning.

    -Tommy M

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  3. This was a really fun read. It felt like an intriguing introduction into a new world of stories, full of hybrids and dragons. It left me wanting to see Riva and the narrator go on quests and adventures together. I got a very touching big sister/little sister vibe between Riva and the narrator, respectively, with Riva teaching the narrator about the world of dragons, and I would love to read more about their relationship. Keep writing! :) -Joe D.

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